My Worst Call of the Day

From the dozens of idiotic calls I take each day as a customer service representative, I humbly submit the winner.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Liar Liar

My many years as a customer service rep have robbed me of several things. These would include, but are not limited to: my patience, my optimism about humanity, and my overall mental health. However, for each item lost, I've also acquired something new. Along with the carpal tunnel syndrome, various drug addictions, and the occasional homicidal urge, I have gained the unerring ability to recognize when someone is not telling me the truth. Whether my callers are merely exaggerating, omitting certain information, or telling me a whopper of a bald-faced lie, I hear the whispers of truth buried beneath their chattering lies. Some examples:

Caller says: I was only a little bit past due on my phone bill.
What I hear: I could only be bothered to make one payment in the past six months, and I sent it to the company knowing the check would bounce.

Caller says: The customer service reps at the gas company will not assist me.
What I hear: After I threatened them with bodily harm, I was permanently barred from calling their office.

Caller says: The electric company disconnected me without any warning!
What I hear: Except for the notice on my last bill, the letter I received, and the message on my answering machine, all of which I decided to ignore.

Caller says: I’d like to file a class-action lawsuit against the electric company.
What I hear: I have no idea at all how the legal system works, except for what I’ve picked up from TV. I threaten to file lawsuits all the time because I am a sad, bitter, lonely old man, and I desperately need attention.

Caller says: When I called my cell phone company after my service was cut off, they were very disrespectful to me.
What I hear: They had the nerve to insist that I pay my bill before they would turn my service back on.

And finally:

Caller says: I have NO idea who authorized these charges on my phone bill for “adult entertainment,” whatever THAT is, at 1-900-SHE-MALE.
What I hear: I was drunk, horny and lonely last Friday night. And I have some VERY specific sexual tastes.

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8 Comments:

  • At 5/20/2005 8:38 AM, Blogger The Supervisor said…

    Here's a few of mine, that I've gotten from supervisor transfers:

    "I don't mean to yell at YOU, I know it's not your fault."

    What I hear: I am being an asshole and I know it, so I am justifying it.

    "You people are not helping me!! You have terrible service!!"

    What I hear: You are not doing what I want. I know the previous representative explained everything to me, but I'm going to yell to see if I can get any more money back from you.

    "I'm never buying from your company again!"

    What I hear: I never had any intention of buying from you again, that's why I returned the only thing I ever bought from you, but I'm going to threaten it so I can get my way.

     
  • At 5/20/2005 10:41 AM, Blogger thebossman said…

    Hey, I just read your comment on my blog! Thanks that you enjoy it.

    I had already found your blog earlier somehow and have it listed on my blogroll!

    I know, I know, it can be pretty frustrating having to deal with all these customers, BUT, if it weren't for them, we'd have no business! I think the problem a lt of times is management not backing their frontline people usually in two ways:

    1) Implenting rules and expecting everybvody to abide by them, only to make an exception every time somebody starts screaming about it.

    2) Not trusting their employees to make calls on their own whether or not to make an exception/go the second mile.

    My personal approach is to keep all my employees informed and educated and honestly I expect them to make the call when a customer calls in with a problem, unless it exceeds a certain dollar amount.

     
  • At 5/20/2005 2:49 PM, Blogger The Complimenting Commenter said…

    Fantabulous listing. And they think they are so believable. Thanks for the funny post.

     
  • At 5/22/2005 2:56 PM, Blogger Who Knew? said…

    yes...customers lie...lol

     
  • At 5/23/2005 9:48 PM, Blogger round about said…

    Hello,

    I just wanted to say thank you for inspiring me to setup a second blog to
    talk about my call center environment.
    I have also added you as a link. Please let me know of anymore friends that have blogs like yours that I don't already have. Again, thank you so much.

     
  • At 5/25/2005 3:33 PM, Blogger thebossman said…

    Did the phone stop ringing or the idiots calling? No new posts, what gives?

     
  • At 5/26/2005 12:57 AM, Blogger copygodd said…

    mango stank me.

     
  • At 1/05/2011 4:36 AM, Blogger Danielle said…

    That really made me laugh. Thank you so much for sharing us this one. This somehow made my day. Keep posting.

    Danielle

    Order taking service

     

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