My Worst Call of the Day

From the dozens of idiotic calls I take each day as a customer service representative, I humbly submit the winner.

Thursday, February 24, 2005

A Woman of No Small Consequence

Today's worst call involved a woman who was having problems with her phone service. She spoke to me in the slow, carefully modulated, patronizing voice I have come to identify as belonging to those who are deeply in love with themselves. The caller took great pains to identify herself as a pastor, a physician, and (most impressive of all) a notary public. The problem with her phone service did not lie, as I discovered, with her immediate provider, but with the company her provider leases the phone lines from. She wanted my agency to investigate her issue with the company that owns the phone lines, but as she was not their direct customer, we could not pursue the issue on her behalf.

This was a woman not accustomed to being denied, and she ranted and raved at me for close to half an hour. Toward the end of the call, she shrieked that she had been without phone service for six days. She asked me how would I like it if, after she had operated on me, she had left a sponge or other medical instrument in my body for six days. I should add that this was NOT a rhetorical question--she was actually expecting an answer from me. When I responded that I didn't really see the two issues as being comparable, she exploded into another shrill hissy fit and hung up on me.

Which was too bad, really, because I wanted to leave her with this parting shot:

While I may not be a doctor, you self-important cow, at least my phone works.

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